SHow! SHow!

Ok, so I have conquered my artists block with a new round of classes...how will i beat this when i graduate?? I'll deal with that later.  I have a show Oct 1st and 2nd in Rockford, Illinois.  I'm pretty nervous, actually.  I'm showing with my sister, tab, who really intimidates me (she's also a big big inspiration) and I think that's making it worse.  Instead of stressing myself out more, i'm using old work with a new twist.  I kind of refurbished" some of my old pieces...and i think that'll do.  there was something about all of them that was missing, so i think i like them more now.  they're mixed media now. fools! no one will know. 

artist's block

i don't know if anyone is reading this, but it maay help me to get it out.  i have artist's block.  not just with painting, but with any form of art, and art in general.  these past semesters of classes i've taken have forced me to look within myself and analyze my work in  a way that disturbs me.  i am taking a stand and getting back to my roots and i'm done making work that i think people will like.  it's making me hate art knowing what i know about the art world.  i don't want to be a part of it, honestly.  i've lost a bit of wonderment in this maze of critiques and criticism and scrutiny...not that i've ever had a bad critique, but i'm questioning the teaching style that comes with critique, and i think in my own teaching(if i ever do, god willing) i'll choose to go easy on the critique.  i want to make work like i used to, when it was fun, when it was from me, not some teacher or another student's opinion, but my own heart. that sounds cheesy... something has gotten lost along the way, and my art stopped serving my purpose.  i don't know waht i'll do now, but my attitude towards the "art world" stands- i don't want to be in galleries, i don't want shows, i don't want awards, i want to be able to get my inner thoughts out, and i can't do that with others' opinions in mind.  i'm done. 

POST SHOW

well, during show, i suppose.  i had a wonderful surprise at my senior show on thursday.  winning any kind of award was not something i expected- when you go out on a limb, people either embrace it or trash it.  well, peopple really embraced it.  eve5ryone loved all of them (expecially the ants, which were my favorite, too!), and i was honored to be nominated by the staff and picked by the chancellor, it's so nice to be validated for your work.  i feel very good about my review coming up and i'm sooo glad the semester is over so i can paint freely again.( without deadlines) and look for another job. that i need to do too. well, i'm rambling,now, so i'm done for today.  i also should say that i appreciate my parents getting along for my sake. i have a great family.

Paintings!!

I'm done!!! with my paintings, anyway... heres some pics.  i still have my sculpture to work on, and my paintings are so huge that i don't know if they'll fit in the gallery.  that could become a problem...

stuck

this is a closeup of my first painting...

i get this every time i make a line of work, every semester, every class, i get to a point where i can't think, i can't dig deep with my creative thoughts and assignments.... what do other people do in this situation? being a person trying to balance a real life- with my family, job, other classes, etc, and my art work life- one where i express myself and release creative processes, it's so hard to balance those two sides for me.  wow i just got a little personal. seriously, though, i have artist's block and maybe a little life-block as well.  how do people stay balanced among all the chaos that life gives us? this happens to be a recurring theme in my work as well in effect- two sides, two worlds, double meanings, i don't think my work would be as strong without this struggle but how do i maintain my sanity???

almost done!!

I'm done with my etchings...i learned a lot making my paintings.  i need to figure out how to combine xrays with a sculpture....any suggestions? i'm very happy with my work so far, but  I need to figure out how to present sculpture with paintings without it looking too busy and detached.

Oh what a difference a week will dooooo

I still have no followers. I'm lame a bit.

about 1/3 plus two done...does that make sense?

so i had my first critique last thursday...sorrry, it's been a rough last couople of weeks. i won't go into detail, but it has not been easy to be creative and productive when all this is going on. my research paper on camera obscura techniques is due tomorrow!!(guess who's pullin an all-nighter....) anyway, the critique went well, considering, and i am very proud and passionate about what i'm doing now. it all came together very nicely- Darrell showed me how to etch so it came out really cool. i'll have some images up here soon, but it really got the kind of response i wanted. the first is war vs growth, the second is vanity vs nature, and the third is individuality vs majority rule... vague, i know, but those are my themes. thank you if you're reading this.

Progress and reassurance

So I finally got my plexi, drew my images in dry erase(thank heaven for dry erase), and plan to have one painting completed by tuesday. let's hope, cause that's when my instructor, Mike, wants it. I've had my very creative and good-eyed boyfriend and some art friends come by and offer opinions and insights on my progress, which is interesting, because when i paint at home, this is something i rarely do. i think this is something i will start doing more often, as people with the same creative talent can give my work a lot of reassurance and direction without pushing me. i was afraid in the past to show my work before it was completed- simply for pride and non-biased influences on my work, but i see now that i can get "help" without other people too heavily influencing the frame of my work. i'm trying to do something that is a culmination of my career so far, and i think these peices will do that for me. thank you, if anyone's reading this besides liz cause she has to. :)

work! work!

so i finally started my paintings...started them in acrylic, but switched to oil halfway through despite my efforts to forever avoid oil. it just comes out so nice that i couldn't resist. i'm not sure how cohesive my work is going to be, but i'm hoping it comes together. i bought the plexi for them today, but i don't know how it will work with the attaching and such. i wish i could find my camera charger so i could take pictures...:( i'm always losing things. bit of funny:
I accidentally left my car in reverse in my driveway today and backed over-not just into- my neighbors fence. i'm a crappy neighbor.

Procrastination....:(

So I finally went to Michaels to get supplies(shoulda gone to the hardware store instead) and realized they kinda suck. I did get boards to use for my 3 paintings, but I feel the need to use plexiglass for these projects (for the diagrams!) and I've been looking at 3 blank, black boards for 2 days wondering where to begin. Procrastination will be the death of me!! I need motivation and time to start; getting started is the hardest part of beginning a work. I have a great visual in my head for the finished product, but my problem always lies in the construction and the fact that my work always looks like shit until I put the very last mark on it and assemble it. I usually end up scrapping work if it doesn't look good at the halfway point...I scrapped this Madonna (the singer, not the Lady) that Mike still says was going to be one of my best works ever and I still think about it. I toss work before it's had it's say in life. so sad.

Week one intro- a bit of goals...

I am in the middle of writing a research paper on old masters optical techniques which is very very exhausting and annoying in its' overwhelming mass of information on the topic....I am also researching various topics for my senior show including psychological social awareness, military morality, and habitat/self awareness. I plan to do a series of paintings that use various man-made and natural fibers, mixed with painting and drawing, etching in plexiglass and lots of diagrams (which I LOVE!) I don't know where the fascination with diagrams comes from, something of an innate sense of being an animal which wants to take things apart, dissect them, until I understand its workings. This will be a series of works like none i've ever produced and I am trying to put an intellectual meaning on the work I make from now on and envoke with my work a subtle yet honest view of human relationships with the self, others, and our surroundings. Wish me luck, cause I'm starting my paintings tomorrow! I've been putting it off all semester, and I'm finally diving in. cheers to procrastination.

first entry

New at this... I'd be shocked if anyone read this.. Honestly, I'm surprised that people actually have time to read anyone's blog but that's just me. I am required to do this for my Creativity and the Internet class, but I'm sure that this will be beneficial to me as most things that are forced on us are. I'll get started with talking about my work tomorrow...