Friday, August 6, 2010

artist's block

i don't know if anyone is reading this, but it maay help me to get it out.  i have artist's block.  not just with painting, but with any form of art, and art in general.  these past semesters of classes i've taken have forced me to look within myself and analyze my work in  a way that disturbs me.  i am taking a stand and getting back to my roots and i'm done making work that i think people will like.  it's making me hate art knowing what i know about the art world.  i don't want to be a part of it, honestly.  i've lost a bit of wonderment in this maze of critiques and criticism and scrutiny...not that i've ever had a bad critique, but i'm questioning the teaching style that comes with critique, and i think in my own teaching(if i ever do, god willing) i'll choose to go easy on the critique.  i want to make work like i used to, when it was fun, when it was from me, not some teacher or another student's opinion, but my own heart. that sounds cheesy... something has gotten lost along the way, and my art stopped serving my purpose.  i don't know waht i'll do now, but my attitude towards the "art world" stands- i don't want to be in galleries, i don't want shows, i don't want awards, i want to be able to get my inner thoughts out, and i can't do that with others' opinions in mind.  i'm done.