artist's block

i don't know if anyone is reading this, but it maay help me to get it out.  i have artist's block.  not just with painting, but with any form of art, and art in general.  these past semesters of classes i've taken have forced me to look within myself and analyze my work in  a way that disturbs me.  i am taking a stand and getting back to my roots and i'm done making work that i think people will like.  it's making me hate art knowing what i know about the art world.  i don't want to be a part of it, honestly.  i've lost a bit of wonderment in this maze of critiques and criticism and scrutiny...not that i've ever had a bad critique, but i'm questioning the teaching style that comes with critique, and i think in my own teaching(if i ever do, god willing) i'll choose to go easy on the critique.  i want to make work like i used to, when it was fun, when it was from me, not some teacher or another student's opinion, but my own heart. that sounds cheesy... something has gotten lost along the way, and my art stopped serving my purpose.  i don't know waht i'll do now, but my attitude towards the "art world" stands- i don't want to be in galleries, i don't want shows, i don't want awards, i want to be able to get my inner thoughts out, and i can't do that with others' opinions in mind.  i'm done. 

POST SHOW

well, during show, i suppose.  i had a wonderful surprise at my senior show on thursday.  winning any kind of award was not something i expected- when you go out on a limb, people either embrace it or trash it.  well, peopple really embraced it.  eve5ryone loved all of them (expecially the ants, which were my favorite, too!), and i was honored to be nominated by the staff and picked by the chancellor, it's so nice to be validated for your work.  i feel very good about my review coming up and i'm sooo glad the semester is over so i can paint freely again.( without deadlines) and look for another job. that i need to do too. well, i'm rambling,now, so i'm done for today.  i also should say that i appreciate my parents getting along for my sake. i have a great family.

Paintings!!

I'm done!!! with my paintings, anyway... heres some pics.  i still have my sculpture to work on, and my paintings are so huge that i don't know if they'll fit in the gallery.  that could become a problem...

stuck

this is a closeup of my first painting...

i get this every time i make a line of work, every semester, every class, i get to a point where i can't think, i can't dig deep with my creative thoughts and assignments.... what do other people do in this situation? being a person trying to balance a real life- with my family, job, other classes, etc, and my art work life- one where i express myself and release creative processes, it's so hard to balance those two sides for me.  wow i just got a little personal. seriously, though, i have artist's block and maybe a little life-block as well.  how do people stay balanced among all the chaos that life gives us? this happens to be a recurring theme in my work as well in effect- two sides, two worlds, double meanings, i don't think my work would be as strong without this struggle but how do i maintain my sanity???

almost done!!

I'm done with my etchings...i learned a lot making my paintings.  i need to figure out how to combine xrays with a sculpture....any suggestions? i'm very happy with my work so far, but  I need to figure out how to present sculpture with paintings without it looking too busy and detached.

Oh what a difference a week will dooooo

I still have no followers. I'm lame a bit.

about 1/3 plus two done...does that make sense?

so i had my first critique last thursday...sorrry, it's been a rough last couople of weeks. i won't go into detail, but it has not been easy to be creative and productive when all this is going on. my research paper on camera obscura techniques is due tomorrow!!(guess who's pullin an all-nighter....) anyway, the critique went well, considering, and i am very proud and passionate about what i'm doing now. it all came together very nicely- Darrell showed me how to etch so it came out really cool. i'll have some images up here soon, but it really got the kind of response i wanted. the first is war vs growth, the second is vanity vs nature, and the third is individuality vs majority rule... vague, i know, but those are my themes. thank you if you're reading this.